if i knew then what i know now i would have had a lot more fun as a teenager

when you are a teenager (in the 70's) there are so many things to worry about it was hard to just have fun. I loved being with friends and it was very nice to have a boyfriend. But through it all you had to be careful not to get a "reputation". that meant that you had to be careful who you were with and how far you went to keep it right on the border line. I did not want people talking about me being fast or slutty or easy, but i did want to explore the relations between a boy and girl. My parents were so so strick
about boys that it was ridicules, but i had to do what they said. That did not mean that i could not work around the rules without braking them. Back to the topic...then i was scared of having sex because once that happened you were talked about in a bad way...and even if you didnt you had to be careful which guy to "played with" that they would not tell stories/ Back then I thought anything more than kissing was a no no, I had several friends that were sexually active but they were not very informative about the act. Now looking back i dont think they had a clue what making love was-they just preformed the act with some getting pregnant. This showed that being sexually active was a no no for more reasons than just my parents being strict. Now that i know more about sex--back then Cosmo was very informative but i did not start reading it until after marriage. I know that it is not the evil act nor is it something to fear and there are fun things you can do without having the full act. I mean really women like foreplay but i also like doing for him because it gives me such power over them. I was raised that oral anything was bad. when i heard other girls talk about it my fears kicked it because that was unclean and bad bad bad. It was during the year after high school graduation that i was visiting one of my friends, she did not date and was not popular in school. but now that she was in college she had changed. she said that it was so much fun to be away from home and she was having a blast partying and guys and sex. At this point i had one quickie with the boy of my dreams-big disappointment-he had the reputation of being a stud and everyone wanted to have sex with him. all he knew what to do was give lots of hickeys and slam bam cum and sleep. I layed there thinking "ok, i was so attractive that he could not wait" so i waited awhile, then tryed to wake him up--without saying hey you wake up and do something for me because you are the pro and i have not had a good time yet. but he slept until one of his friends showed up and he jumped into his cloths and on the way out the door he said call you. Anyway back to my girlfriend at college, she was telling me all about sex and multiple partners and we compared my future husband with her activities. she asked if i had had oral sex, i was so embarrassed and said no way, that would be ickky. She was quick to tell me all about it and how much fun it is. so i asked for full out details. She told me everything, how it feels in your hand, how to stroke it how to get him so hot that he is groaning and moving around and heave breathing-did i mention that my future husband was no better than my dream guy-anyway. she told me how to use the tip of my tongue to touch the tip of his "you know" then to lick it and when he is really moaning and even calling out how good it feels that i should take "it" into my mouth, how to suck on it and how to move my mouth on and off up and down and at this point he is in my complete power, i can do whatever i want and he will beg for more, she also explained how it would be if he came in my mouth---oh icck, or how to get around swallowing.  i took in all she had said and tried not to think of her as a slut. It took me awhile to get up the courage/nerve to put into action what she had told me.  I had to take it in baby steps in getting to know "it" before i was able to do the whole oral sex thing. boy was i surprised, it was very very powerful the power i had over him, it was a definite natural high. I was so good that as he was trying to recuperate he ask where i learned that and to feel free to learn more. haha When it came to oral sex for me I did not find it enjoyable, still thinking its dirty but mainly he didnt know how to do it right and i was too embarrassed to tell him what was good or bad so over time i just "faked it" and unfortunately that is what sex was for me .....faking it, that way he would stop. I still gave him my wifely duties but it was no fun for me--just like taking out the trash. there was no one to talk to about it because all my girls friends went on and on about how great it was. NOW I would have not only told him i would have shown him. I mean really if i can use BOB i was not unable to cum it was just that he didnt know how to help me cum. after the divorce i was not interested in sex-i hooked up with a couple of men for sex but when they realized that i was not into it they stopped-wow never had that happened, even when i told them it was ok they could do for them it was not important for me to cum. strangest thing-they said if it wasn't good for me then it would not be good for them--huh? since when did it matter if i enjoyed it, i figured i waited too long to start faking it. But NOW i would have used up every man i came across. I would not have cared about my "reputation (or found guys that would not blab) I would have slept with many many of them and if they didnt know i would have been glad to teach them. I think if i had done that i would enjoy sex a lot more..i am still faking it, again because men do not take direction well-even when i tell them or show them. each one seems to know one way and thats the way they do it every time. they enjoy for me to change things for them-really you can suck, lick and touch then wrong. plus i get the rush of power, the faster they cum the sooner i can get it done. I would love to go back and sleep with the ones that I was sexually attracted to or just the ones that could make me wet with just a look. Older teen boys have great bodies...mmmm I would lick their whole bodies, yum yum